“This is not a test. This is reality...worldwide!” And that reality is that Limp Bizkit won't go away. Or at least not for another album.
Fred Durst and the band you love to hate have their second release in as many years, this one with the juvenile, potty-mouth, pseudo hidden-meaning title Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water. Don't ask and they won't tell, but pre-pubescent boys will have fun with this one. With covers of George Michael's “Faith” and songs about “Nookie” making up their still-young career, grown-up subject matter isn't exactly what got them here. And if you're looking for grown-up subject matter, look elsewhere. Durst takes potshots at everyone from Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails to Christina Aguilera. And just so the listener doesn't feel left out, he insults you by pure delinquent behavior.
Case in point: opening track “Hot Dog” boasts saying the f-word 48 times (count 'em) while altering the lyrics to NIN's “Closer” in order to somehow get back at Reznor for some trash-talking he's done in the press. It does nothing more than make Durst look like a loser with no artistic integrity.
That said, Durst is hard to deny as the kid next door. You know, the one that you think is a nice guy, but you don't really want to hang out with? He's got his good points, but you just can't help but try to avoid him. On “My Way,” his voice is warm and melodic, thanks in part to additional producer Scott Weiland of Stone Temple Pilots for some vocal training. Mr. Red Baseball Cap even croons and questions his future in “The One.” On top of a staple Sam Rivers bass line and John Otto's simple drumming, Fred wonders aloud if he'll ever find that special someone to spend the rest of his life with. See? He's not so bad.
And therein lies the dilemma. Do you love him or hate him? Hard to know for sure when on the very next track he's hanging out with a nasty rapper like Xzibit on the mellow-aggressive rap number “Getcha Groove On.” Do we really need another collaboration on another album with another rap superstar? Let it be known that Durst changes his musical tastes a lot more than he changes his baseball cap.
The true bright spot, as with all Bizkit's catalog, is guitarist Wes Borland. His larger-than-life riffs are what drive the band into the metal/hip-hop stratosphere. The sounds coming from his down-tuned instrument on “Hot Dog” are impossible to deny as anything more than pure chaos; and chaos is good in this genre. Borland pummels his axe some more on “Boiler,” though this time in more of an alternative manner. He wants to do more than Durst's rap-deliveries usually allow, and maybe his solo effort Big Dumb Face will be that outlet.
Hate them. Love them. Do what you will. But there's no denying Limp Bizkit's persona and charisma. Whether or not that charisma will turn into longevity for a band of suburban bad-boy wanna-be's is yet to be seen. In the meantime, “Introducing the Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog-Flavored Water!”
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