Stabbing Westward

Item: Stabbing Westward
Author: David Martin

(2001)

Reviewed by David Martin

Discogs Apple Music TIDAL Amazon Music Spotify YouTube Music

Label Koch RecordsThe Rebel Base2002

alternative rock industrial rock post-grunge

Got Dumped. Got Depressed. Got Over It.

Do you have one of those CD's in your collection that, on its own, doesn't stand out as anything special, but holds a deep personal significance in your life because the songs helped you through hard times?

Stabbing Westward's fourth and final album is one of those CD's for me.

Take a trip back in time with me if you will. October 2001, to be exact. Okay, so it's not that long ago, but to me, it feels like ages ago. I spent most of that fall reeling from a painful breakup. It's not like my situation was all that unique - such situations probably inspire roughly 75% of popular rock songs these days - but all the same, I needed an outlet for what I was feeling.

It was during that lonely season of my life that my younger brother slipped this disc into my hands. "You'd probably like these guys," he told me, without specifying why. I had heard of Stabbing Westward before, and understood them to be a rather melodramatic and depressing industrial rock band. I liked their sound, and remembered being intrigued by an older single of theirs entitled "Save Yourself", but I also knew that they swore quite a bit and a lot of critics found their music to be a bit repetitive. So it was with a bit of skepticism that I approached their latest offering. The morbid, Gothic-looking girl on the cover (who was also pictured topless on the back with a thin black bar obscuring her breasts) told me to expect a trip into a soulless world obsessed with sex and death. It didn't look promising.

I certainly wasn't prepared for what I got. The heavy, industrial sound was mostly gone in favor of a more melodic, mainstream rock sound. Weighing in at an impatient-consumer-friendly 10 tracks, the whole thing smelled a lot more commercial than I would have expected. I should have hated it on principle. But wait, they were managing to get their point across without an overabundance of swear words. I have to give them credit for that. And even if the band was pulling all of the oldest tricks in the book, I had to admit that the tricks were working. Why? It's elementary, my dear Westward. These songs grabbed me on a very personal level and wouldn't let go.

I must say, whatever lead singer Christopher Hall went through, it sure sounds awful similar to what I was dealing with at the time. Though not meant to be a concept album or tell a continuous story, there was a definite forethought to the order in which these songs were placed. A few moody opening tunes lamenting the decay of a romantic relationship, a tear-jerking power ballad sorting through the ashes of the breakup, an angst-ridden lament over the time wasted in the relationship, a bitter pot-shot at the ex and her current lover, and then a light at the end of the tunnel. While a positive lyrical turn may seem incredibly contrived for a band like Stabbing Westward who has spent years capitalizing on darkness, it was what I needed to hear. For once in the history of nihilistic modern rock, someone actually got over it. And even though I wasn't over it yet, so many of these songs helped me through those final stages of letting go and slowly learning to trust again.

So Far Away

The record kicks off with a fairly straightforward drum beat, leading into a mid-tempo but intense song describing the distance that has grown between two lovers. As Chris Hall's unique, breathy voice (which oddly reminds me of Christian singer/songwriter Charlie Peacock in places) tells the story, you begin to realize that though this may not be an abusive relationship like that described in your average Linkin Park song, there was a definite lack of communication that tore these two apart. The emotion he puts into his vocals really elevates a standard rock song into something more gripping. The strong percussion and spacey guitars that weave throughout the song bring back vivid pictures of those last few months, lying awake late at night trying to talk things out with my ex, and finding that she resented the processing more and more with each sentence. It's chilling, picturing the couple in this song, so physically close to each other, but mentally pulling away each time one person reaches for the other.

As you lie silently beside me choking back your tears / I wonder if you recognize that silence now defines us / Desperately I try to fight this overwhelming sense / That I may never find the strength to change / How hopeless we've become

Perfect

This song hits the ground running, with Chris' vocals once again capturing your attention as an acoustic guitar is quickly strummed behind him. The mood here is simultaneously upbeat and sad, not hard rock by any means, but very kinetic and powerful all the same. At this point, the doomed relationship hasn't broken off yet, but Chris can sense her retreating still further away, and he's telling her he can see right through her promises that everything's fine. He misses the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship, if you will, and while it may be naïve to look on the old days as "perfect" and want them back, who hasn't felt that sense of loss when realizing that you or your significant other has fallen out of love? It's all a fine example of how Stabbing Westward has reverted to the oldest tricks in the book, capitalizing on a common fear that couples experience and marrying it to a catchy tune, complete with a false ending that kicks back into the chorus predictably, but oh so satisfyingly!

Lately I've noticed how much you've changed / Even though you swear you're the same / So why do I feel a million miles away / And why do I feel like we're broken

I Remember

Break out the Kleenex box. The critics and the nu-metal loving teenagers are gonna hate this one. It's a power ballad in every sense of the word, starting off slowly with an acoustic guitar and more spacey sounds to darken the mood, and building predictably but beautifully until you just can't handle it any more. Call me crazy, but I love this song. The first time I heard it, I very nearly cried, because Chris' lyrics fit my situation so closely that it stunned me. Here he's looking back at the end of the relationship, wondering what would have happened if they had "tried a little harder". Apparently he was really into her and they both said they wanted it to last forever, but perhaps she was just paying the idea lip service to keep him happy? Ouch. "We swore that we would never end; we knew our love transcended space and time." It's the most cliché line in the world, but the reason why it works is exactly that - so many people say stuff like that when they're new in love, and then it's that much more painful when it doesn't work out. The part that hits me the hardest comes in the second verse when he sings, "Now I don't even recognize the girl I swore that someday I would marry." Boy, did that hit home for me. Once the most beautiful girl in the world, and now, in my mind, what remains is a misshapen, haunting image - like the girl on the album cover. Now it's all starting to come together.

As memories slip away / The ghost of what we were is fading / But there is no more pain / Which is funny 'cause that night I was dying

Wasted

This is definitely the most aggressive song on the album, sounding a lot like "So Far Away" at the beginning, but injecting a little more rocking power to balance out the anger that Chris needs to vent. Interestingly, instead of lashing out uncontrollably at his ex, he's ticked off at himself. Not only has he wasted his time fighting for something that wasn't meant to be, but he's become a miserable shell of a man in the wake of the breakup. The only swear words on the album make their way into this song, as Chris laments "Trying to f--- the loneliness away". I may not care for the way he worded it, but at least he's acknowledging that sleeping around won't make the pain go away - furthermore, he's experienced even more grief thinking about the people he's "damaged". He doesn't seem upset to the point of being suicidal, but he's asking some hard questions: "When I reach the end, will anything I've done mean anything?"

I die inside when I think of all the people that I've damaged / I'm tired, I'm so tired / And there's no one else except myself to blame

Happy

This song seemed a bit lackluster to me at first due to its slow tempo and its simple, repetitive refrain of a few notes played on a vibraphone. However, once again, the lyrics managed to save the day by summing up my frustration over being replaced by someone else. I guess Chris knows his ex and her ability to fake emotions all too well, because now she's with another guy and she's rubbing it in his face, how much better he is for her. Through a series of sarcastic questions, he very bitterly asks her if she's really happy - he knows all she's trying to do is cover up her pain and fear of being alone. Perhaps he's learned a thing or two from his own misfired attempts to quickly replace her. That's one mistake I'm glad I can say I didn't make, but all the same, this song embodies a lot of the things I would have loved to ask my ex if I could have forced her to sit down and actually talk to me at that point in time.

Does he worship and adore you? / Does he make you feel so beautifully complete? / Is your life so much better now? / Or do those same old demons haunt your sleep?

The Only Thing

As the second half of the album gets underway (yeah, only ten tracks, that's a bit of a drawback), the mood starts to pick up a bit. That's not to say that Stabbing Westward is suddenly a happy pop band, since the musical mood is still dark and brooding, but a silver lining begins to show through in the lyrics. I don't much care for this song's opening, where Chris is whispering "All I need is the air you breathe" - it sounds kind of hokey. However, it's worth getting past that, because this song is powerful once it gets going. I can't tell who he's addressing when he sings the chorus: "'Cause you are everything, the only thing that matters", but it certainly isn't his ex. Is it a new girlfriend? A friend who helped him sort everything out? God? That last interpretation fits me, but it probably wasn't the band's intent (especially with the line about "TV preachers" in one of the verses). In any case, this song finds Chris questioning the superficiality of what he was once obsessed with, and he realizes that he is going to survive because in some vague way, he is loved.

What if someday we took all their toys away / Do you think they'd find the strength to go on living? / Well deep inside I know, if I lost everything I owned / I'd be a king as long as you're beside me

Angel

Ready for power ballad #2? This one kicks in with a little more force than "I Remember", though it didn't quite hit me as hard (few songs do these days). The guitars are still quite moody and the drums are loud, but dang it, this is a love song. Or maybe just a song about learning to open up and love again, since the first verse describes the harrowing view of romance that Chris once had. I'm certain that most fans of the band's earlier material would desert them upon hearing the chorus: "I've never been loved by an angel". I think the band could have tried a bit harder to avoid clichés on this one. I honestly didn't care for it much upon the first few listens despite it being the most positive track on the album, but I guess that was because I couldn't relate. These days, being over the past, and learning to let myself be loved again by someone far more capable, I can certainly relate. So this song is making its way up my list, but I don't expect it to surpass the first three tracks any time soon.

She showed me love could lift me higher / With a kiss she repaired these broken wings / She revived my failing spirit / Restored my faith in everything

Breathe You In

Chris hooks us once again with another, soft breathy intro floating on top of a delicate acoustic guitar. This song is considerably mellower than the others - it gets more electric in the middle but never really rocks out, choosing instead to ride on a gentle groove. It may not be as catchy as some of the others, but it works. The analogy of breathing someone in used in the chorus may be a bit overused, given that the metaphor was already mined on "The Only Thing", but it's still a good snapshot of a man learning to let himself feel again. It can be weird, finally coming out of a dark era of anger, hatred, and bitterness, finally forgiving a past lover and opening yourself up to a new one, and realizing that your feelings can still be a bit dulled by what happened to you. "Guess it's time to face the truth and admit my past mistakes." Amen, brother.

Why am I afraid to feel, afraid of what is true / Why am I afraid to feel when all I really want is you / To taste your skin, to share your thoughts / Would never be enough for me

High

Another feisty burst of energy kicks in for a song that just makes you want to jump up and down. This was much needed after the slow to medium pace that drove the last four songs! Here Chris takes one final look back at his ex, realizing how addicted he was to her. His lyrics may not be as specific as I'd like them to be regarding the back story, but it any case, he handles his metaphor well here. "I've never been so high as I was with you." At first, I thought he was singing the praises of a current lover that he was simply using to drown out the past, but now I realize that he's acknowledging a mistake - perhaps an obsession with sex or something like that. The language gets a little coarse here - no straight-up swearing, but some people might be a little offended by the line "I'm the wh*re that needs it one last time". I don't mind it, because he's realizing he was a wh*re instead of taking the easy way out and labeling her as one. (Bad pun alert: I guess that makes him a Westward Ho.)

I can't hide it, I can't fight it / When every nerve is crying out for release / I can't recapture the rapture / That passion that is burning inside me

Television

I haven't quite figured out the significance of Stabbing Westward's final song in the context of the rest of the album. There is a definite electronic element driving this song, and I love the sound of it. However, it takes the subject matter somewhere completely different. Perhaps there is a common thread - Chris is complaining about the people around him who are too busy watching TV to talk to him. It's a world that's afraid to feel. Appropriate to the music, the subject fits better with what I've heard of the band's past work, minus the swearing. But as it fades out on Chris' repeated plea of "Is anyone alive?", it doesn't really bring any resolution to the album. Nonetheless, it's a good song, and like many songs on this album, it really rocks once it's built up enough steam.

I've searched the world for someone with answers / To questions that are plaguing me / I scream in vain at anyone who'll listen / But everybody's watching TV

I won't mince words: Stabbing Westward took the easy way out on this album. I know they wanted to change their image after losing their guitarist and all, but I think the effort would have been better received had they changed their name and started fresh, instead of putting forth a self-titled effort that would imply this being a definitive work for the band. I don't know why the band called it quits earlier this year, but I get the funny feeling that it had to do with this album being poorly received. However, despite those criticisms, the emotional process that this album takes the listener through doesn't need to be original to be compelling. It may be a bit dark for some (especially those who listen to the Christian rock albums I normally review), but I think it's worth a listen for anyone who's dealing with the pain of a bad breakup and needs to let it out instead of shoving it under the rug and pretending everything's fine.