Two Funky Swine
Wallowing in the Blood of Innocent Children
Reviewed by John Wilson
Praise the Lord for Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted Logan, collectively know as White Stallions (the dream band of our heroes in "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure"). They are truly the only comparison I can reckon for this, uh, music group. "Mr. Mosh Part II", the guitarist, and "Felix the Cat", the drummer, constitute 2 Funky Swine. Using Revere Ware pots and pans as the staple of their equipment, they have compiled a repertoire of, um, "songs" (kind of), to confront certain issues. After introductions and the INITIAL DRUM SOLO, played on you know what, our comrades lead us through a tangent of..."selections" about the perception God has toward various subjects: sin - "Swine Snot"; skateboarders - "Kill the Skater"; hypocrisy and apathy - "You're a Joke"; affectionate feelings toward another - "Better Than Cornflakes"; abortion - title song; and, well, other subjects. To be truthful, the lyrics are not that bad...in fact, they're pretty insightful. The only problem is: I heard the guitar, and I heard the "drums", but WHERE'S THE MUSIC?? Just kidding, I know you guys were goofing around. Actually, I recommend purchasing this just to see the lyric sheet. Thank God for 2 Funky Swine. Thank God for Revere Ware cookery. Thank God 2 Funky Swine used both sides of a 60-minute tape, instead of a 90-minute one! God bless 'em! If you'd like to order this, uh, tape, send $4 (checks made payable to Alan Newberry) to: 1409 N. Blue Mills Rd, Independence MO 64056.